This week we thought we'd post about something we are real experts on. Killing plants.
There are two growing seasons in Houston and we have not been successful in raising a garden, (or sometimes even just grass) in either of them. Seriously, the people at Lowe's garden center hide the herbs behind their backs when they see us walking in.
So, in honor of the searing hot days between the two Houston growing seasons, we present to you our top ten ways to kill your plants.
10. Forget to water them. Plants need water. Who knew?
9. Over water them because you forgot to water them for so long. They don't like that.
8. Plant them in the wrong season. There are lots of online calendars to help you, but so far we haven't found one that works.
7. Experience a "big freeze." Even when you coax those little seedlings to life indoors, as soon as you transplant them, you can count on one of those cold snaps to frost your crops.
6. Don't believe in chinch bugs. When we moved to Texas we thought people were sending us on a snipe hunt when they said our grass was dying because of chinch bugs. Chinch bugs are real.
5. Plant the same things you used to plant in other states and expect them to do well. Texas is a law unto itself, even for gardening.
4. Grow herbs indoors without a suitable environment. They need enough sun and don't like air conditioning, unlike their human counterparts.
3. Plant your tomatoes in the spring so they can shrivel and die in the heat of summer. Experts say the hottest part of summer is when the planting should be and then you'll (theoretically) have a great tomato crop in the fall.
2. Grow basil they said. Basil loves the heat, they said.
1. Go away on vacation for a week to escape the surface-of-the-sun temperatures. We guarantee you won't have a living plant left if you do.
On a happier note, we have found that our banana trees grow like weeds. They've been through hurricanes, freezes, heat spells, and our son with the weed whacker, and they keep coming back! One day, we might even get a banana off of them!
Happy gardening!